Relationships Unmasked

2006-08-17T11:50:00.000+03:00

Women and Image
The women are the most affected when it comes to image matters.When a man walks with a woman he's bound to notice that she will tell him things about the surrouding environment that he will most likely miss.

This is usually a part of women who are usually very quick to notice the objects around them.The thing is that they don't stop at noticing only but go ahead to evaluate it.These are the very matters that affects a woman's decision to either give to a man's request for a relationship or not.

Many women usually notice and plan for the specific men they want even before the man recognizes them.Their decisions are made according to the image they generate in their minds regarding how they view the relationship in some years to come.

This tendency never fades away in life.They will go ahead and try to make the man fit into the image they set for the relationship.Trouble usually comes when the man is unwilling to conform ton the changes.(Many women usually reckon that the men they get usually need to be fixed up to fit into their image of 'Mr. perfect'.)

2006-08-04T09:11:00.000+03:00

Role of Image in Relationships

I'd describe image as the picture which someone creates for him/herself in life regarding the various aspects of life.

This image eventually dictates how that specific person will react to his/her environment,how they will relate to other people.

People will always choose whom to relate to according to the mindset they have at that particular time.That's the very reason why things like segregation and discrimination exist.

Image is usually groomed right from childhood.It changes through the cycle that is life and depending on a person's flexibility.Someone can acquire an image from the latest fads or the "In thing". It can be changed and remodelled to serve a good purpose.

Image is generated by the part of us which is responsible for imaginative thoughts.This is one particular area that has been responsible for human development,and is an area that has to be well taken care of otherwise it can also cause alot of destruction in life as well as has happened before.

I will be talking more about relationships and image.In the world,it seems the most overlooked factor is image.I believe Image is what makes the world go round!!

2006-07-10T21:43:00.000+03:00

Workmates Cheating....

I would like to think of two people who have just gotten to be workmates at an equal level,such that none of them has an authoritative advantage over the other.The first days are usually filled with plenty of tension,mostly regarding how someone intends to handle the other.

Eventually as the tensions ease and the two have learnt how to handle each other,they eventually get to the next level,scrutinising each other's individual merits.At this point,there's a high likelihood that dating will be the very next step in the sequence.

If the two are married,then it would take very strong principles from any of them,to keep them faithful to their spouses.

The crux of the matter is that;they spend only the evenings and early mornings with their spouses,while they spend the rest of the day with the workmate.They soon start seeing aspects of the workmate that they wish their spouses had.

They will develop a liking and eventually strong feelings for each other......Cheating is the name of the game..

This may be helped by the people involved trying all means to alert their spouses,regarding what they'd like them to do....Usually it's just more communication they want from their spouses.This helps alot.

2006-06-28T14:27:00.000+03:00

Women Bosses at the Workplace

Well,the other day i was looking at the workplace situation with the man as the boss.So i'd like to focus on the woman as the boss today.

When there's such a scenario,there's usually a high chance that the lady will be involved in an affair with the man who is her subordinate.Several reasons could lead to that.

First:If the lady keeps sighting the man in question with some ladies,she will usuall tend to start having a reaction whereby she'll hate them and want to0 compete with them at the same time.

To her,she will be able to show her power to the man's ladies by "snatching" him from them.This act also boosts her self esteem.

The other situation that may lead to an affair at the workplace will be constant contact.Ladies are very sensitive,and when a lady is working with a man,spending more hours with him than she does with her husband,boyfriend...she will normally tend to start developing a soft spot for him.

This situation is heightened by the fact that the man receives orders from her and is seemingly harmless as compared to the husband at home who rules.The lady gradually develops a liking for the man,and a relationship blossoms there.

2006-06-20T21:18:00.000+03:00

Workplace Relationships

Well,this would be with regard to intimate affairs at the workplace people end up conducting side affairs at their workplaces even when they have a good spouse at home waiting on them at the end of the day.

Today I'll look at what instances these affairs are conducted ,beginning with the man as a boss at the workplace.

When a man is a boss to a lady,the possibility of an affair with her lies in the fact that he has the say over her welfare and she will give in to his demands only to keep her job.

The man who tries to maintain a professional worklife will get his lady colleagues wanting to get on with him,and he'll have to be a very strong person to refuse any of those advances though,the man gives in just because he doesn't want the lady to think less of him....Let's say,sometimes it's just to show the woman that he is man enough.Usually he will keep off the lady after the whole episode.

2006-06-19T21:02:00.000+03:00

Long Distance Relationships

Who can manage it?Well,I'd only say that it depends on how someone has set the mind to bear with all the suspense involved in this

Generally,men would fare better than women if they are busy enough wherever they are,such that the work they are involved in saps up so much of their time they don't get the time to get some substitute women as they "Faithfully" wait for the lady.

For the case of women,they just can't easily cope with all that's demanded by it.Generally,women naturally have a desire to always be close to the one they love.If they cannot see the person they love,then they relationship needs to be bonded by constant touch,and not just mail,but telephone will nearly do it.

Woe unto the man who cannot keep in constant touch with a lady especially when it's just a dating type of relationship.Many men will confess to having lost women unintentionally just by relaxing on the communication.

What registers in the woman's mind is that,"if you can't search for me,you are probably not interested".Funny thing is that most busy men may not always get the time to communicate to the lady.The danger here is when someone else can offer her the warmth that she misses from her man.The end result is a game called cheating.

The main thing at the back of the lady's mind is "Does he really care for me anymore?".The care is shown in communication

2006-06-16T12:46:00.000+03:00

Honesty As a Relationship Pillar

Honesty,so what is it?I'd say it's just a virtue we hold onto as people inorder not to hurt other people,i'd think that the opposite of it would result into a liar and a cheat.

Honesty in relationships has its place of necessity.Honesty in relationships will often involve expression of one's feelings about an aspect of a given relationship.More of confession is in it.

The first real case of honesty in a relationship,is at the point of expression of interest in each other.There's usually a frankness people share with each other,when they are just starting to date.The expression of these feelings is good for bonding in a relationship.

However,honesty may eventually take a backseat as the relationship progresses,especially at points where someone has noticed qualities they dislike in their date or spouse.

Instead of expressing what they feel in whatever form it may take,they instead decide to bottle up these facts in them.This act eventually kills the relationship slowly.Acts like women faking orgasms,hiding one's disgust about something offensive in the partner will eventually ruin the relationship.

Honesty in relationship terms,involves coming to terms with the situation one is in and getting a good solution for it.The moment someone keeps every worry to themselves,then other issues start developing:Deepening resentment,mistrust.. and eventually squabbles with the other person.

It would be good to have a good platform for interaction in a relationship.It would provide a good ground to empty all concerns and i an honest way,so that they do not pile up into major issues.

2006-06-12T20:28:00.000+03:00

LOVE

Well.A countless amount of songs have been composed based on this very item;Love.But what really is it...

Keeping in mind that Love has got its cousin Lust and sister infatuation,so many can easily mistake these other two for the actual feeling of love.

If i were to define what love is,i'd mainly talk about the two major components of it:Affection and care.

Affection:This component is what initiates the strong bonding between two people.Of course the whole process is aided by hormonal factors,but affection is the major outstanding component within the complicated matter that is love.

Care:This component is responsible for the maintanance of the affection that brings people together.I'd say that it rather strengthens the bonds created by affection.Lack of care for each other's needs in a relationship always leads to a weakening and eventual breaking of the bond

Those are the components of love according to me.One person has to offer the partner the above components in equal measure for the relationship to last.Lessening in any of the above components will disrupt the union.

2006-06-10T15:43:00.000+03:00

Loyalty

This is another pillar in relationships...Marriage and dating relationships will be sustained in all happiness,if this quality is available.

Loyalty will be subdivided to:Loyalty to One's principles and loyalty to one's spouse.

Principles:Everyone has certain qualities to which they have clung onto in their growth process in life,to finally end up with a certain character that everyone else can identify.

There are times when someone gets attached to another person and the person decides to do away with all the proper etiquette and principles they had before they met the other person in order to be accepted by that other person.

When someone throws away some good principles they had just so they may get accepted by the other,that other person will end up despising and taking them for granted.The subsequent union will have a total lack of respect on one end and a desparate other on the other end.

Loyalty to the spouse:

This has to do with someone facing criticism levelled against their spouse by third parties.There are times when these criticisms can get to the recipient and they end up allowing their minds to be twisted by other ideas.

Everyone who is in a union should walk about with the confidence that they have met the best choice in the form of their spouse,and no amount of misguided criticism/allegations should easily sway someone from that confidence.

2006-06-07T13:01:00.000+03:00

Relationship Pillars

All relationships are controlled by certain factors.Friends will have certain things which they will share in common with each other...habits,historical background..etc.

These are the factors that keep the relationship going strong,like loyalty and understanding...Friends will operate within these factors which I always refer to as pillars.So i'll take a look at some of the pillars in marriage and dating relationships.

Forgiveness:
There are plenty of things that can go wrong in any relationships,lying,concealing of information...Many are the things people do in order to get what they want.If someone lied about an aspect of themselves just to get someone else's hand in marriage,what should the other person do when (s)he finds out?

Forgiveness is a quality like any other that,in addition to keeping the relationship bonds stronger,also indicate the level of maturity the person concerned has got.

I will look at it like this:If someone I love so much wrongs me,then I forgive that person,it doesn't necessarily mean that I will forget about,it's only that when I remember about it,I don't get overtaken my raging emotions but rather remember that I learnt a certain aspect of life through the whole experience.

Forgiveness is a deliberate act of taking control of any negative motive for action and deciding to redirect that motive into a more constructive path of reconciliation.

Reconciliation is actually a change in mind and in the case of men,a trampling of the ego to reach out for strengthening of bonds that will last a lifetime.

Forgiveness is good especially when the offending partner has learnt the lesson good indication of this is usually confession by that person usually shows a broken-ness which should not be punished by being unforgiving.

2006-05-30T20:59:00.000+03:00

Relationship Grudges

It is inevitable that so many times relationships are hitting rock bottom and the lovers start to discover that their love was a huge mistake!I never think it is...

What does bother me so many times is the grudges that follow.A grudge is a sentiment like love and hate.Many are the occasions when you meet people who think that they hate someone yet it's some other emotion that's being exuded.Maybe even love for that person.

Some of the first things a person should find out from someone when they are dating,is how their previous relationships ended,those who ended theirs violently will always have some emotions like,too much tendency to fear,mistrust,hesitancy to do some things,even the very normal things because they will remind them of the alleged villain.

Sorry to say,but many of those mostly affected by this are women.The main reasons being their powerful memories and heavily emotional states.A woman's main security most of the times is her appearance.One simple criticism from someone she deems special,concerning her appearance will trigger an almost lifetime reaction that seeks to rectify that part that was criticised.

Many are the times someone meets a lady whose spouse criticised her once about her nose or ear,then she proceeded to get hooked onto plastic surgery,wrecking her whole appearance in the process.

I'd suggest that when someone intends to really have an enjoyable time with a lady,he'd better converse and find out about these issues.A lady may split from a relationship with a man but harbour some feelings they may consider as hate yet they usually yearn for the man and all the things they used to do together.

With ladies,it's usually never over until they can feel in their system that it's actually done with.Let alone cases like rape,violence,that anyone would be entitled to feeling that way.

A split with someone usually has strings attached.Just how much did she love him?How much about what he would do did she love about him?If she is longing for him,she will reveal some hidden nostalgia for the times she used to have with him.

2006-05-28T20:27:00.000+03:00

Relationship Touch

It's very vital for relationships to be maintained by constant touch between the two parties involved. This is mainly with regard to dating and marriage.

Men are usually able to keep themselves safely somewhere without so much as constant communication to their spouses.This would not neccesarily mean that he is cheating on her.

The two brains operate quite differently.Scientifically it has been said the womens' brains operate in such a mode that they are usually able to handle several different things at a go (She can cook,knit and tell stories at the same time!)

Men on the other hand have brains that usually allow them to deal with mainly one problem indepth then handle another one later.

So,actually it is harder for a man to keep constantly in touch with a lady,especially when he is dealing with some mind-sapping matters.

As a result,many of the very busy businessmen will usually have lonely wives back at home.

This is usually a scenario that calls for understanding between the two parties.The man should understand that the woman who is in a relationship,usually has her life wrapped around it.These cords will loosen if constant touch isn't there.

The wife should also understand that men especially when pursuing a certain interest like in business,may usually have his brain so sapped up with his interest,he forgets the contact matter.

It doesnt neccessarily meanthat he has stopped loving her,as most ladies eventually think.To many ladies,the more contact,the more interest they see in the man,and the more the love grows.

2006-05-25T19:55:00.000+03:00

Relationships and Brothers and Sisters

All of us in this world need some sort of relationships to survive.I always state my belief that relationships are what run this world,surely none can survive without them.I decided to have a look at brother sister relationships with regard to someone who is dating or married.

There are certain times they may be a welcome shoulder to lean on and other times may just be a neccessary bother to someone who is dating or in a relationship.All these will depend on the sort of relationship the brother and sister have had throughout their life.

There are usually cases of domination by either brother on sister,or vice versa or two brothers and two sisters together.

Let me look at the dominant sister's effect on the life of a younger,dating or married brother.I picked sisters today because most of the time they are the culprits.

The sister will usually continue with her domineering attitude on both the brother and his spouse.She will try to act as the one who approves and disapproves the brother's choice for a date or marriage.

May want to choose when the brother goes dating,how his girlfriend/wife should behave,what plans the couple should have in life.

These ladies can be a total nightmare to their brothers.They just never know when people have grown up to adults so that they may change their attitudes.

This type of domination will only be minimised by a good talk from the affected brother to remind her that he has since grown up and should not be treated like a kid any longer by her.

2006-05-22T21:25:00.001+03:00

Relationship Battles

The question is about the battle of the sexes when it comes to getting on with life after a split.I believe that a larger percentage of ladies who have been dumped by their men will get back with them for reasons they sometimes cannot explain.

The men on the other hand usually handle breakups with more ease depending mostly on the reasons for the breakup.A man would be affected more by it if he broke up with a lady because of infidelity,mainly because it's an insult to his ego that another man crossed his territory uninvited by him.

The lady who splits up with a man because of infidelity on his part will have a different mindset attached to it.She will think that she was inadequate in some way and from then on will work on her image because of that.

There are rarely ego problems involved with women as is the case with men.

The major factor that usually brings two people together most of the time is image.Well,a man may figure that he will boost his ego when felow men see him with some cutie by his side.For the women,though,the image they will be seeking from a man is usually attached to a part of them that has stored a certain image of a man as the ideal type.so they are bound to make some weird looking decisions.

When asked why they hooked up some weird character, a lady may say"I like his eyes" or ""voice".Behind all these reasons for a man,the lady usually has a subconcious image of the ideal man where her whole self will be intertwined with and become their sorce of identity,unlike men whom i consider as people who will love with mainly their ego in the relationship.

If a split were to occur,ladies are much more affected by it because the man whom they had tied their whole being is no longer.Their source of identity is gone,and most of them usually start to exhibit some side effects.

She will start to work on her personal image more to look like other women whom she deems are successful with their men.She will get a man to just hang her confusion and frustrations on.But she will always be yearning for the man who defined her to return.

2006-05-20T21:50:00.000+03:00

Approval Addiction In Relationships

Well,yesterday i met some lady who works for some some Oil company's marketing department.She's such a likeable person and always wants to share a light moment here and there.

The lady has the responsibility of bringing customers who want to buy fuel to the company,but lately she has decided to undertake a mission to take the fuel t the customers.Funny thing is that she is operating on losses as the company gains.Infact i think she's always done that,and for what purpose?Apart from salary,it's the praise she receives from her bosses.It had me thinking..

This is a type of relationship where one person just wants praise while losing out and the other is just gaining while applying more pressure.Then it hit me...Some people in life are just addicted to so much praise which they'll always toil for!

Now,let's look at the dating or marriage setting..Once someone has figured that all you like in a relationship is praise,then they will definitely start to take you lightly,all they'll do is shower you with praise then demand for more..Which you'll actually give in to because for you,the more praise the better!

Such personalities have a low self esteem that usually has its roots in childhood experinces whereby someone was teased or demeaned too much they lost sense of self worth,self identity goes alongside it.

The only image they get in life is what other people give them through approving and praising them for tasks done.This usually motivates them to do even more to maintain this identity which they cannot do without.

I think this is how some women live with openly abusive relationships.Just because the man has figured that all she wants from him is approval,then he takes her lightly.

Good remedy should involve showing the other person that there's more to what you demand in a relationship than just approval from them.Once they understand the terms,then you'll gain more respect and a stronger relationship.

2006-05-19T21:17:00.000+03:00

Family Speak!

Spoilt last borns and and lone children in a house.By the time two people get married,they come into the union with all the personalities they have acquired throughout life.

It's parents who usually have the first say when it comes to grooming someones future wife or husband.It has generally been taken that last borns are spoilt,so dating a first born is recommended,with some truth in it of course!

So many first time parents really pet their kids for reasons i do not know.Everyone on this planet is capable of behaving in a mature manner or spoilt manner depending on how their grooming is done in childhood.

Most parents forget that a kid is just temporarily in their hands but the final destination is with someone else,then they have to start facing the results of their actions later on when a the grown-up kid they spoilt starts coming back to them to resolve the conflicts parents never taught them to face.

The minute a parent figures that everything a kid wants from them,the kid gets,then the circle of spoilage has started and these kids will expect the same petting from any other person who can show interest in them.

Much of the marital problems faced today emanates from the sort of relationship the people had with their parents,so actually that's where the buck stops,but not all the time though.

I do suggest that,when someone wants to date another,they should first of all get to learn what to expect by checking out how much spoilt they are.Just how do they interact with their family members?

One who is spoilt will still be overprotected and pampered everytime by family.They themselves will behave in a nagging manner wanting everything on a silver platter,which things they will proceed to misuse.

2006-05-18T21:34:00.000+03:00

Lady Friends In Relationships

A woman's best friend is her girlfriend not her man!?Well is that debatable?Maybe.But when a lady is growing up,she yearns for a certain type of company from fellow ladies.This trend continues deep into adulthood.

The company she acquires will start to redefine her personality in an all round sense.While it is possible to take a man from the country,get him to the city and be sure that what his fellow men tell him will not change him outwardly too much,the same does not apply to ladies.

If you tried the same thing with a woman,you would see such a dramatic change in her you would not believe your eyes.If a man wants to tell what his lady is about to come up with,he should be able to understand the type of mentality her friends have,because she will acquire the same.

The sort of advice shared within the two sexes is different.While most men tend to focus on what can build a future when they share advice,most ladies share their sort of advice on immediate results.

Women will always want immediate solutions to their problems.The problem is that most ladies figure that men,don't understand them when they try to share with them their issues.Eventually,the man becomes the villain and attention is turned to what other ladies can advice her to do with her man.

Trouble here is that most of the ladies who are friends,also tend to envy each other alot and will give the wrong sort of advice to fellow ladies,just to break her up with her man.Strangely,women sometimes derive some pleasure out of snatching other ladies men!

So why does a lady still have fellow ladies as her best friends?Well,through life,they have always learnt everything from other women:Fashion sense,dating etiquette,cooking and all...The main thing here is that they don't realize when to learn things in a different way when a man is around.

Ladies then,would only be valuable to fellow ladies regarding matters other than her relationship with her man.Then they will be true friends.But if she includes her fellow friends'advice on how to operate with her man,then she will find out what venom fellow ladies can unleash with regard to this.Comment?

2006-05-16T21:00:00.000+03:00

Forced To Love ?

Sometimes i usually get to go down memory lane and i find myself very impressed sometimes with the way development has helped us out here,in this region that's next to the source of the River Nile.

Well,i remember some weird occurances that i have witnessed in life.Let me just talk about one of them here.

In a certain regionback here,there are some tribes that used to allow men to practise some weird methods of acquiring a wife.....

A man would just target a lady he has admired alot,then he will follow her pattern of operations in her daily life.

This man would then plot with his fellow men friends and in broad daylight would ambush the lady even at busy places where markets are full of people.If someone were a stranger there,he would be told by the public that the lady is getting married.

The man's friend would bundle the lady upon their shoulders and carry her to a secret location where the man will hide the lady till her parents send messengers for negotiations with him.

This man will then arrange an entourage to visit the lady's parents for dowry negotiations.All this is done as the lady plays a passive role and is only there to accept the decisions made.Nevertheless,she was expected to keep to her man till death do.......and they would!

So,what puzzled me,is the fact that the ladies would go one to build successful marriages.Strange to read?.....Believe it!

What would i call that?Hmmmh...Forced love....does it work?

I believe,the reason is that,love can develop between any man and woman, and only a change in mindset is required for this!

2006-05-15T18:52:00.000+03:00

Gal stories

It seems that everytime i wake up,there's usually a surprise awaiting me in this neighbourhood of ours that's right next to the source of the Nile.

Today i got up to find my friend lamenting:Her sister had taken off with some man a whole day.Now i knew i had i consoling job to do at hand.

While i consoled the lady,i got curious and asked about the lady's history with such stuff.She told me it asn't the first time for the sister to do that.After talking with her more i think i figured out the root of the problem because herself she's dating a man old enough to be her father.....

As in many cases in life,everything lay in the past.These two ladies have been staying with their mother even if their father is still alive.Reason is that the father married another woman and that brought about the split between him and their mother.The two ladies lived mainly with their mother even as their father supported them materially.

I conclude that the lack of a father made these two ladies get to to those things.

There is usually a part of us that needs to be connected to our parents right from childhood,even when the relevant parent isn't there,that desire never leaves the person.It grows the more to haunt them later instead.

It is like a cup that's waiting to be filled from childhood even into adulthood.So,one of the sisters got hooked onto a man old enough to be her dad while the other cannot be convinced to leave the boyfriend alone,young as he may be.

Law provides that such a man found to do this to a schooling girl should be arrested.But what would it solve,really?I believe that issues have to be tackled from the roots.

The thing is that the lady finds a suitable replacement for the father that never was in the man who can comfortably fill up that slot in her life.

I used to wonder at ladies who despised young men and chased after older men for affairs.If it is not for money,then the reason that they themselves cannot explain to anyone about is the missin father in her life.

The things we see happening in our lives right now are just the fruits of what took place years ago.Who said "forget history"?History is basically ruling our lives.

I think that those who are happy,are they who overcome effects of their history.Oh my!This is scary!

I concluded that

2006-05-14T21:15:00.000+03:00

Relationship Emotional Levels

When we are dating or already in a marriage sort of relationship,there are points at which our emotions will spillover many times.In any sort of relationship or affair,there is usually a fluctuation of emotional levels for the people concerned.

This is what i mean:When two people first meet,their emotional states are well and trully at or above threshhold.As the two people get to know each other more,the emotions usually fade off.Someone suddenly starts to realise that the stunning lady doesn't look stunning anymore!!

I believe that relationships can be maintained successfully by keeping these emotional levels at a constant.Many of the breakups would eventually be prevented.Some of the numerous reasons that cause this fade to occur:

When one of the partners notices some undesirable traits within the personality of the other.Many people have stuff they just cannot stand and their emotional level is at an all time low when they notice that their partner had those same traits they hated.

For many others,their emotional levels fade because of distractions.When someone has to work too much while the other partner is waiting at home.....This is usually a perfect recipe for an emotional killer.The fade in this case just occurs gradually.Soon someone realises that the neighbour or househelp looks better than the partner and away we go...

Another reason is tied up with selfishness.It is the loss of the mood of adventure in a relationship.This adventurous mood is what people always re-ignite when they want to step up a fading emotional level.This adventure mood is what's largely responsible for the early fires in an affair as both people seek unique ways of saying I lOVE YOU!

Someone cannot alaways want the other person to do all the donkey work when it comes to keeping the fire in a relationship at a good required level,such that particular person is in charge of coming up with all the ideas to liven it up.They will get tired when they run out of ideas or get too busy.

For most ladies,they usually let the man make the first move.That's OK.But the subsequent matter of keeping everything alive should be done by both partners on equal terms.Trouble is,most ladies expect the man to just keep doing all the work as they enjoy,or complain for more.....Doesn't work like that(Am i not in for some bashing from women?)

A married couple may take some time off to a weird location for some crazy adventure.When they come back,their levels fully stepped up,they can just work on maintaining that level.

These levels are usually maintained by simply stopping to look so much at oneself and at what someone needs as opposed to what your partner needs.

Trying to look at your partner in a different way each day will reveal alot more ways in which you can keep those early fires burning.Her is one thing you should always watch for and could be the key to a successful affair:

Find out their lowest points in life.Everyone has a low point in life....Heartbreak,hardship,betrayal,poverty..you name it.With this knowledge one will know what powers the partners life.These are usually the points that dictate the functioning of someones life and habits.Just don't be too selfish to notice it.

They represent weaknesses that people usually fight even a whole lifetime to overcomeeven when it's unneccesssary.One should either fight along or lead them away gently to real life.
Am out!

2006-05-13T20:11:00.000+03:00

Who tames who?!

Ever walked into a house and observed the husband and wife in a small game of sureriority?

Mostly,in a house,the man usually considers himself the superior partner in the home while the lady takes the holding role.It is usually this factor and understanding that is supposed to maintain the peace and order in the home,(Or i thought so).

Do women ever take this domineering attitude of a man in the house while lying down?No!Infact whenever you find a house where a lady appears to be submissive,it is a place that is ruled by that very woman.

Many things come with strings attached to them.A man may derive satisfaction out of the perceived domination he appears to have in a relationship.The woman on the other hand will gladly play the obedient partner role,with aces up her sleeve.......

Sorry for the men,but ladies usually point out a weak spot in the man and ruthlessly exploit it to their advantage.It may be dealing with sex,or a man's point of affection!

A man may make a move for sex as usual,only for the lady to feign something like a headache,just because he did not fulfil something for her....It gets worse!A lady may feign talking to a kid when the man's within earshot something like "If your dad had money he'd buy you shoes.."...and on....

Ladies will want to kill me now!Actually,i think men don't really study women closely,but on many occasions,by the time a man approaches a woman for dating,she already knows much more about him than he can imagine.This study always includes,how she can manipulate and control that man

What i see with old couples back here by the source of the river Nile,is that the old grandma is ordering around grandpa who has given up the fight for taming the woman he married.

Actually who tames who?

2006-05-12T20:18:00.000+03:00

Lost people!

Some days i have sat myself down and tried to look back at my whole life from beginning to present,and i can't help but get amused at some of those crazy things i did in my rowdy days.Then it hits my mind;what really was i up to?

I bet am not the only one asking such questions.I believe that by the time many people are into adulthood and beyond,they usually look back sometimes with amusement and other times with remorse...

What really used to stimulate me to do all that crazy stuff?Now let try...I used to(like most other people did or still do)have a picture of :

What ideal behaviour should be like,and i started to conform myself to behaving like that.This was mostly done so i would be acceptable to the public.But there is an inner part of me that naturally generates behavioural partterns according to how i respond to my environment.

Society has set patterns in our lives:What marriage should be like....how to date someone...how to eat...drink...blah blah blah.The more these trends are set,the more they cause problems.This is because many of those set rules actually don't let people be who they actually are.They just act..and when the real person shows up.....It's all over.

I got into conflict with myself,because my mind was keeping an image of who i wanted to be and yet my inner system generated another way of behaviour according to how i reacted to the environment.When the surrounding is full of alcohol and it's the "in thing"then am in it,because i don't want to be left by the bus....Did i say i was alone?

Well,just how often did i do stuff i hated doing just to be accepted by my buddies?Am not the only one here!As i look at unfolding events from right here adjacent to the source of the Nile,I see numerous lives at conflict and being towed away by the trends.

So one day as i sat and thought out everything,i figured that i should stop letting my environment run my life.I made a decision to conquer it instead,so i started sieving everything i would get from the environment.Whatever was important would be taken in and all else that was rubbish,discarded.

I bet everyone makes decisions on a daily basis,but some decisions carry more weight than others.At one time i was one of those lost people,who's every decision springs from their friends and company.UNTIL i decided to get my own back..........what do they call true freedom?................

2006-05-10T05:38:00.000+03:00

Crazy sights!

What a neighbourhood this is.I couldn't help chuckling hard at this one.

Well,there's this neighbour of mine who's married and stays around with one wife.Or so we thought.They have two kids the eldest is about 5 years old.

Things have been quite peaceful until some few days ago.Two more ladies came out of the blues with a kid each in hand and forced their way into the this man's house and started to live with him.

Have i ever seen a man's brain rotated like that before?No.This man tried drinking,smoking..the problem just would not go away.Of course the women kept themselves busy exchanging insults and claims upon the man.I thought i confirmed something.....

Why do women aways want a man much more when he is hooked up?All through my life,i have seen it.Women just want a man who has another woman.Reasons?..

Well,first i think that ladies don't only derive pleasure out of stealing away another lady's man.It is something that boosts their self image.Like a lady has low self esteem (almost all of them do) and when she sees another lady whom she considers more endowed than her,moving around with a man.She will try and snatch her man away just to prove to herself and the lady that she is no worse than her in terms of beauty....Am i lying?....

Any man out there would tell yo that,when he was single,not many women would bother with him.But when he hooked up.Suddenly they all just came flying at him...Am i lying?

Secondly,i think women like to protect everything they may even slightly deem to be their own.So even if she meets a former boyfriend,she will still remember her stake in the guy and on top of it,may decide to lay him just to make the other lady feel bad as well......I feel like am lying.Am i?Get me some comment here please

2006-05-09T20:29:00.000+03:00

Hate to love!

Actually i think it's the other way round.Love to hate.What would someone prefer.I sthere any sort of emotions that come close to that of a woman?Just place a million bucks on the table and i'll always bet no!

A woman's love is like the most blissful paradise one can ever get.But ohhhh,wait till it turns to hatred,then you'll know where the strength of a woman is.

Right here where i live close to the source of the river nile,plenty of circus-like events take place on a daily basis.I have seen awesome breathtaking waterfalls at the place called Bujagali and i have also seen some nasty things here.

My good friend here,Bob decided that he would try double deal on his lady and went to sleep at a neighbouring lady's house.Unlucky for him,he was spotted the very next day by his girl leaving this lady's place.

He went back home and proceeded to deny her allegations,then she coaxed him to tell her the truth.The poor fellow did just that.What follows?..Well,she held a knife,he took off,the neighbouring lady took off..Village elders had to solve the puzzle...So what do learn?

Never tell a lady the truth about cheating on her(I'll get bashed for this!)Reason:Women never forget!You'll do something wrong or great to a lady today and fifty years down the line she will still be reminding you about it.

Women have such powerful memories,i believe theirs is second to none on this planet.If you store in there bad stuff,they will backfire upon you.

Don't ever be fooled by a lady telling you to tell her bitter stuff,no matter how much she claims she can handle it,the actual fact is they can't handle it.

Women tie up almost everything in life with their emotions,and if you are to touch it the wrong way,you will be store in her memory and emotions as @$%##%$

Back to my question,what would i rather have:a woman hating me then i charm her into loving me?Or the dreadful opposite.A woman's love is incomparable so is her hatred.I should take care!
Who'll comment on this?

2006-05-09T06:11:00.000+03:00

Sick Neighbouhood Stories

Yesterday i got some rude shock from my neighbourhood.It's the type of story one may find in a place they call UTOPIA,but how it happens so close to us,i may have some hints.....

Caused by extereme poverty,laziness and God knows the rest..Ok here it is.....

There are parents here who figure that they can hardly afford school fees for their children who are attending secondary school.Many of them can afford it,it's only that they waste the money on alcohol and any other worthless activity.

What do they decide to do?The parents plan with their children so that the girls look for a well earning young unmarried man,then they flirt with him as much as possible.Of course in a matter of time the man will want sex.

They will give in to the man's sexual demands once or twice,then they organise with their parents and some unscruplous policemen so that one day in particular,they will get to the man's house and sleep over.

This time,the police will raid the man's place looking for "an underaged girl who is being defiled by a certain man",If they find her there,the man is taken to police facing seven years in jail or negotiate with the girls parents for an out of court settlement.It will be around 1,500,000 Ugandan shillings(US$850)

This usually goes to pay for the girl's scholl fees for that term and her parents get some pocket money too,not forgetting the policemen.Just absurd!!

This is the country with the highest teenage pregnancy rate in the world.So what could be the solution?Drop me hint.

2006-05-08T22:00:00.000+03:00

Changes Daily: Why Dating the Bad Boy Never Works

2006-05-08T10:28:00.000+03:00

Know your man
I got up to a crazy start to the day,my friend had just gotten dumped and was weeping plenty.One thing she kept saying throughout was "I thought i knew him..."I got to doing the hard job of consoling a weeping lady friend of mine.Then it hit me,how come she did not really know him as she thought she did?Let me try figure out....

Here are some ways in which a lady may judge how far she will go with a man in a relationship.These are things she will have to observe from him..

1.0.Loyalty/principles:This is done to determine whether he wants you just for sex,money or any other thing other than your very self.This will also prove to you how principled he is.

Get to move with your man into a company of your fellow lady friends(Fellow lady friends are always your stiffest competition for your man!!)make sure you gauge his reaction towards the teasing and flirting directed towards him.They will tease him!

If he loves you,he will behave uncomfortably and will be in a hurry to leave the place.Furthermore he will be hesitant to meet that lady again.Then you will know you have a dream partner.Never take it lightly when your man plays along and they establish their own sort of "friendly"thing.You may regret it.

2.0.Temper:This is one aspect of people which definitely will judge how much longer you will stick together with your partner.You may get a man for various reasons but please do check on this.You may live to regret it.Most druks are the culprits.Drug abusers generally are.

Testing this is to find out how fast he gets angry and to what degree he does.Just observe your man closely when you are in the midst of people..Let's see,how does he react when the waiter brings the wrong order or spills a bit of stuff on him or you...?One thing is;A man will always try to hide bad traits from his lady,but situations such a these do expose them.

Do not ignore the bursts of rage directed at other people because in a matter of time you will be the recipient.

3.0.Find out what he admires in you most:A man who admires only your physical beauty will stray when he figures that he has seen another who has a better body.

This you will find out by tactfully asking him intelligent questions...It may be something like "..honey,what two things do you appreciate most about me..?A man you amy go far with will like some inner qualities like,intelligence,honesty and pleease not just SEX.Just think out what to catch him on.

The other reason why you should know them is because you will need to polish and highlight them throughout the affair because these are the main lines of connection between the two of you.Neglect them and...Voila!

4.0.Maturity:Ever met someone who looks great,sharp,intelligent...first time?Well that was till they opened their mouths to speak and out came folly.A complete man has some qualities that define all complete men.If your man lacks any of these,please .....run!Ha!ha!

4.1Responsibility:Many things fall under this but i will breeze through:
The man has to be responsible for his actions.What would you think of somone who sires children left right and centre without footing their bills?Initially,if a man sires kids all over the place,then ask yourself where his principles are,and if you won't be the next victim.

How about when he sits a home like a dummy waiting on you to foot the bills?Don't get wrong here,there are times when a man has tried his bestand all has failed.Not this one.It's the type that will wait on your money to drink and live with you like you gave birth to them,Ouch!!

4.0.Vision:This quality is mixed with hard work which may sometimes sap alot of the time women need from their men.Sorry but it is required for the boat to keep moving.Think about it,don't you need someone who will not be shocked by the bills and all?Again,sometimes a man may have made a bad investment decision,am not talking about that.Am talking about the one who does not seem to plan for them when he can comfortably afford them.

I think i should stop there lest,the men hack me downHa!ha!What's your comment?

2006-05-07T09:47:00.000+03:00

How to break-up with a man!

Had my head spinning with this one.I just can't believe am writing anything here.I think it's the men that ought to comment here isn't it?So what's with the breaking up with men?

I don't like seeing people breakup,infact it's one of the worst scenes to witness under this sun.Now let me see how ladies just just end up breaking up with men...

Fact.If a couple called it quits today,then the breakup took place a long time ago!Breakups are processes,not events.But the final event usually just tells the public what has been going on..So how do you break up with a man?

1.0.Trample on his ego!
1.1.Seemingly contrversial...Whatever a man works hard for to acquire in life,is usually included as part of what inflates his ego.You thought a man was weak only until you touched his wife not so?!What about if the lady herself starts to ridicule a man.a lady may mention stuff during an argument that really cuts deep into the man's ego.A simple start eh?

The split won't just happen yet until it becomes too much.when she has done it repeatedly.It may be something like teling him he's not sexy enough,not man enough,not like the "other woman's man"...Please ladies,don't scratch his ego at all.Otherwise you'll be picking up the results of your actions in the bars,brothels...

1.2Getting petty:Well i know that ladies can't hold up any hurt without talking it out to someone,it's like a sort of release from it.It's like an embedded mechanism that comes as the package called woman from birth..But for goodness sake,don't overload a man with your concerns,let him solve one at a go.Funny thing is women expect the men to behave the same way.

Men don't like to talk too much about their problems.Men's ways of dealing with matters is,to head off to a silent location,reason out the logical way out and act.Why do women accuse men of doing things without consulting them?!

If you load a man with one too many problems,he'll simply try preventing that by avoiding you!Again you'll pick up the results of your actions in bars and brothels.

1.3. Betrayal(why should i not stop here?
1.3.1 Cheating on him:Actually what can drive a man crazy like this one.All of a sudden,everything that has been invested in a relationship is gone down the drain with just one silly act?

1.3.2.Telling on him:I find it funny that a man should tell a woman sensitive details but they do.Is this method used in espionage any longer?Yes i believe and will continue being used.Sometimes when men feel touched in a special way by a woman,he will even tell her stuff his closest buddy does not know,but if she tells on him.......I think you know where you'll find him.

I should continue sometime later.By the way does anyone like freebies like i do?How about travelling the world for free?I could not believe it!Why Not Fly Free

Some comments on this?

2006-05-06T18:19:00.000+03:00

By Jeff Vinoma

One of the hottest items on the net currently is Online dating.Millions of people visit these sites every other day and it is also big business.But just what can one meet as you get into the mix?.....

1. Different types of dating sites:
1.1.Paying sites:These are the ones that offer dating services for a fee.Of these,there are those that initially provide someone with a trial period during which you post a profile about yourself and can be able to communicate for a certain period of time.These are usually advertised as "Free to join".You will have to pay for communication after the trial period has elapsed.An example is perfectmatch.com

1.2.Free Dating sites:These are dating sites that don't really charge you anything for posting a profile and for communication.They are usually ad supported.That means that they will have several ads on them from which they get some revenue.An example is fusion101.com.These one are usually advertised on search engines as "totally free".

1.3One should be very careful about what to go for.Some sites advertised as totally free may have some hidden cost.One has to make sure the site offers free communication as well.

1.4.Differences also arise from the moral,racial,geographical and religious ends.
Christian sites:These are usually based on atrong christian morals.Part of the making of ones profile entails acknowledgement of christian values.A good christian paying site is eharmony and a good free christian site is fusion101
1.5.Regional dating sites:These are dating sites that are provided to serve a specific region,they may not be accessed by people outside that region.12meet.com serves within a certain location and in several citie from the US,Africa,Europe and Asia.
1.6.There are dating sites that encourage explicit types of relationships.These are adult dating sites and porn sites.Almost all will entail payment
1.7.Race based sites are also available:these ae sites that have decided to serve a specific community or race,like shaadi.There are those that are specifically inter racial,like interracialmatch.com

2.0 One will also meet couples who are ready to couple up with the right person and someone just needs to get on the right track with a suitable match.When you get an interesting one,you will not be able to keep away from the keyboard!

3.0. Unfortunately one will also meet with the scammers!
These wiil always prowl around the dating sites loking for victims.Nigerian scammers are know to target people here.One usually finds a message of somebody who is desparate after losing their rich parent and solicits for your help to recover cash stashed in some account somewhere with the promise that you will be handsomely rewarded for your help.

3.1.There are also those that start on a dating note then later on start offering one deals such that one will be able to avail the credit card number to them and they will just proceed to clean out your account if one does so.

3.2.The next type usually targets those who are living in Africa and Asia.These usually start by sending people some very long,seemingly replicated romantic messages about how they have picked on you to love you forever on the first letter!Then they will tell you to only reply through some email address they will give you.They are still on the loose.some had come up with a website uesa which the last time i checked was up for sale.

I found this book OK for men who are dating online.It's about creating profiles that will be irressistable to women.Take a peek!
Click Here!

All in all,i wish everyone who wants to date online all the best!I'd like you to download for yourself a great movie,from fastdownloads sit back and just just relax.
drop me a comment please.